By Ann
Yesterday, my mom and I went to the MVA together. Here’s how that went.
—
After waiting for two hideous hours:
Mom: Hi, we want to transfer the car title from me to my daughter.
MVA Rep: You don’t have the same last name. You need proof of relation if you don’t have the same last name.
Mom: Yes, I’m sorry, we didn’t realize that until we got here. But we were hoping, since her middle name is my last name, and that’s all written out on her driver’s license, and also because the address on the car title is the same as her home address, that might work as proof?
MVA Rep: But you don’t have the same last name.
Mom: That’s correct.
MVA Rep (To me): Why is your name different?
Me: Huh? Because my last name is my Dad’s—
MVA Rep: Are you married?
Me: Yes, but—
MVA Rep: Oh, so your name changed when you got married.
Me: No. This has always been my name.
MVA Rep: Always since you got married?
Me: No. Always.
MVA Rep: So you’re not married?
Me: No, I am married—
MVA Rep: Do you have your marriage license?
Me: Uh, no, why would I need my—
MVA Rep: To confirm your name change.
Me: But I didn’t change my name when I got—
MVA Rep: Hold on, now I’ve got to go look up your marriage license in the computer.
(Walks away for incredibly long amount of time.)
MVA Rep (Finally coming back): Well, we don’t have your marriage license in the computer.
Me: Right. Okay, but I’m sorry, what I’m trying to say is that it wouldn’t matter whether or not you all had my marriage license, because that has nothing to do with my name.
MVA Rep: So you’re not married?
Me: No, I am, but—
MVA Rep: If you’re not married, I have to look up your birth certificate.
(Starts to walk away again.)
Mom: Wait, but on her birth certificate, my last name is different than it is now. Does that matter?
MVA Rep: Your name doesn’t matter. Her name needs to match yours.
Mom: I’m sorry? My name on the birth certificate doesn’t matter, or—
MVA Rep: No. I’m checking her birth certificate. Your name doesn’t matter.
Mom: But my name needs to match hers?
MVA Rep: Correct.
Mom: But my name doesn’t matter?
MVA Rep: Correct. I have to go look up her birth certificate.
(Walks away for incredibly long amount of time. Again.)
MVA Rep (Finally coming back. Again.): We don’t have her birth certificate either. You’ll need to come back.
Mom: Okay, so it doesn’t matter that her middle name is the same as my last name?
MVA Rep: Let me show you something. You see how your last name starts with a “C” and you see how your last name starts with an “F,” they’re not the same last name.
Mom: We understand that we don’t have the same last name.
MVA Rep: So, since she’s not married—
Me: I am married!
MVA Rep (Completely unfazed): You need to bring in her birth certificate. Next!
—
What a stellar outing. Mom and I can’t wait to do this all over again next week.
Into the Friar 